t is, if he turned out to have any interest in it at all. I wasn't sure 
he would, but Mameha assured me that a man doesn't cultivate a relationship with a fifteen-
year-old apprentice geisha unless he has her mizuage in mind. 

"You can bet it isn't your conversation he's attracted to," she told me. 

I tried to pretend I didn't feel hurt by this. 

Chapter twenty 

Looking back, I can see that this conversation with Mameha marked a shift in my view of the 
world. Beforehand I'd known nothing about mizuage; I was still a naive girl with little 
understanding. But afterward I could begin to see what a man like Dr. Crab wanted from all 
the time and money he spent in Gion. Once you know this sort of thing, you can never 
unknow it. I couldn't think about him again in quite the same way. 

Back at the okiya'later that night, I waited in my room for Hatsu-momo and Pumpkin to come 
up the stairs. It was an hour or so after midnight when they finally did. I could tell Pumpkin 
was tired from the way her hands slapped on the steps-because she sometimes came up the 
steep stairway on all fours like a dog. Before closing the door to their room, Hatsumomo 
summoned one of the maids and asked for a beer. 

"No, wait a minute," she said. "Bring two. I want Pumpkin to join me." 

"Please, Hatsumomo-san," I heard Pumpkin say. "I'd rather drink spit." 

"You're going to read aloud to me while I drink mine, so you might as well have one. Beside, I 
hate when people are too sober. It's sickening." 

After this, the maid went down the stairs. When she came up a short time later, I heard 
glasses clinking on the tray she carried. 

For a long while I sat with my ear to the door of my room, listening to Pumpkin's voice as she 
read an article about a new Kabuki actor. Finally Hatsumomo stumbled out into the hallway 
and rolled open the door to the upstairs toilet. 


"Pumpkin!" I heard her say. "Don't you feel like a bowl of noodles?" 

"No, ma'am." 

"See if you can find the noodle vendor. And get some for yourself so you can keep me 
company." 

Pumpkin sighed and went right down the stairs, but I had to wait for Hatsumomo to return to 
her room before creeping down to follow. I might not have caught up with Pumpkin, except 
that she was so exhausted she couldn't do much more than wander along at about the speed 
mud oozes down a hill, and with about as much purpose. When I finally found her, she 
looked alarmed to see me and asked what was the matter. 

"Nothing is the matter," I said, "except ... I desperately need your help." 

"Oh, Chiyo-chan," she said to me-I think she was the only person who still called me that-"I 
don't have any time! I'm trying to find noodles for Hatsumomo, and she's going to make me 
eat some too. I'm afraid I'll throw up all over her." 

"Pumpkin, you poor thing," I said. "You look like ice when it has begun to melt." Her face was 
drooping with exhaustion, and the weight of all her clothing seemed as if it might pull her right 
onto the ground. I told her to go and sit down, that I would find the noodles and bring them to 
her. She was so tired she didn't even protest, but simply handed me the money and sat down 
on a bench by the Shirakawa Stream. 

It took me some time to find a noodle vendor, but at last I returned carrying two bowls of 
steaming noodles. Pumpkin was sound asleep with her head back and her mouth open as 
though she were hoping to catch raindrops. It was about two in the morning, and a few 
people were still strolling around. One group of men seemed to think Pumpkin was the 
funniest thing they'd seen in weeks-and I admit it was odd to see an apprentice in her full 
regalia snoring on a bench. 

When I'd set the bowls down beside her and awakened her as gently as I knew how, I said, 
"Pumpkin, I want so much to ask you a favor, but. . . I'm afraid you won't be happy when you 
hear what it is." 

"It doesn't matter," she said. "Nothing makes me happy anymore." 

"You were in the room earlier this evening when Hatsumomo talked with the Doctor. I'm 
afraid my whole future may be affected by that conversation. Hatsumomo must have told him 
something about me that isn't true, because now the Doctor doesn't want to see me any 
longer." 

As much as I hated Hatsumomo-as much as I wanted to know what she'd done that evening-
I felt sorry at once for having raised the subject with Pumpkin. She seemed in such pain that 
the gentle nudge I gave her proved to be too much. All at once several teardrops came 
spilling onto her big cheeks as if she'd been filling up with them for years. 

"I didn't know, Chiyo-chan!" she said, fumbling in her obi for a handkerchief. "I had no idea!" 

"You mean, what Hatsumomo was going to say? But how could anyone have known?" 


"That isn't it. I didn't know anyone could be so evil! I don't understand it ... She does things 
for no reason at all except to hurt people. And the worst part is she thinks I admire her and 
want to be just like her. But I hate her! I've never hated anyone so much before." 

By now poor Pumpkin's yellow handkerchief was smeared with white makeup. If earlier she'd 
been an ice cube beginning to melt, now she was a puddle. 

"Pumpkin, please listen to me," I said. "I wouldn't ask this of you if I had any other alternative. 
But I don't want to go back to being a maid all my life, and that's just what will happen if 
Hatsumomo has her way. She won't stop until she has me like a cockroach under her foot. I 
mean, she'll squash me if you don't help me to scurry away!" 

Pumpkin thought this was funny, and we both began to laugh. While she was stuck between 
laughing and crying, I took her handkerchief and tried to smooth the makeup on her face. I 
felt so touched at seeing the old Pumpkin again, who had once been my friend, that my eyes 
grew watery as well, and we ended up in an embrace. 

"Oh, Pumpkin, your makeup is such a mess," I said to her afterward. 

"It's all right," she told me. "I'll just say to Hatsumomo that a drunken man came up to me on 
the street and wiped a handkerchief all over my face, and I couldn't do anything about it 
because I was carrying two bowls of noodles." 

I didn't think she would say anything further, but finally she sighed heavily. 

"I want to help you, Chiyo," she said, "but I've been out too long. Hatsumomo will come 
looking for me if I don't hurry back. If she finds us together ..." 

"I only have to ask a few questions, Pumpkin. Just tell me, how did Hatsumomo find out I've 
been entertaining the Doctor at the Shirae Teahouse?" 

"Oh, that," said Pumpkin. "She tried to tease you a few days ago about the German 
Ambassador, but you didn't seem to care what she said. You looked so calm, she thought 
you and Mameha must have some scheme going. So she went to Awajiumi at the registry 
office and asked what teahouses you've been billing at. When she heard the Shirae was one 
of them, she got this look on her face, and we started going there that same night to look for 
the Doctor. We went twice before we finally found him." 

Very few men of consequence patronized the Shirae. This is why Hatsumomo would have 
thought of Dr. Crab at once. As I was now coming to understand, he was renowned in Gion 
as a "mizuage specialist." The moment Hatsumomo thought of him, she probably knew 
exactly what Mameha was up to. 

"What did she say to him tonight? When we called on the Doctor after you left, he wouldn't 
even speak with us." 

"Well," Pumpkin said, "they chatted for a while, and then Hatsumomo pretended that 
something had reminded her of a story. And she began it, 'There's a young apprentice 
named Sayuri, who lives in my okiya . . .'When the Doctor heard your name . . . I'm telling 
you, he sat up like a bee had stung him. And he said, 'You know her?' So Hatsumomo told 
him, 'Well, of course I know her, Doctor. Doesn't she live in my okiya?' After this she said 
something else I don't remember, and then, 'I shouldn't talk about Sayuri because . . . well, 
actually, I'm covering up an important secret for her.' " 

I went cold when I heard this. I was sure Hatsumomo had thought of something really awful. 


"Pumpkin, what was the secret?" 

"Well, I'm not sure I know," Pumpkin said. "It didn't seem like much. Hatsumomo told him 
there was a young man who lived near the okiya and that Mother had a strict policy against 
boyfriends. Hatsumomo said you and this boy were fond of each other, and she didn't mind 
covering up for you because she thought Mother was too strict. She said she even let the two 
of you spend time together alone in her room when Mother was out. Then she said 
something like, 'Oh, but . . . Doctor, I really shouldn't have told you! What if it gets back to 
Mother, after all the work I've done to keep Sayuri's secret!' But the Doctor said he was 
grateful for what Hatsumomo had told him, and he would be certain to keep it to himself." 

I could just imagine how much Hatsumomo must have enjoyed her little scheme. I asked 
Pumpkin if there was anything more, but she said no. 

I thanked her many times for helping me, and told her how sorry I was that she'd had to 
spend these past few years as a slave to Hatsumomo. 

"I guess some good has come of it," Pumpkin said. "Just a few days ago, Mother made up 
her mind to adopt me. So my dream of having someplace to live out my life may come true." 

I felt almost sick when I heard these words, even as I told her how happy I was for her. It's 
true that I was pleased for Pumpkin; but I also knew that it was an important part of 
Mameha's plan that Mother adopt me instead. 

In her apartment the next day, I told Mameha what I'd learned. The moment she heard about 
the boyfriend, she began shaking her head in disgust. I understood it already, but she 
explained to me that